I used to wonder why it seemed that so many people had encounters with God while I felt He was too far away and inaccessible. Then one night in a church group, I said/asked something to the effect of “ok, so you always say to listen to God, but I never hear Him talking. What gives? How does one listen to God?”. The answer was something I think I was expecting, but was encouraged to hear it from people I respected and trusted. It broke down like this. If I believe that God is in the hearts of people, then I shouldn’t have a hard time believing that God will speak through those people. We talked about the practicality of that and the potential to confuse messages from God being spoken through people and messages from people being spoken through ears wanting the words to be God’s. Prayer and patience when dealing with the unknown is best served in truck sized doses it seems.

My past several years (somewhere around 7) have been primarily focused on mental health. Both from my intentions and from channels mentioned above. All the signs pointed to “get your head-space in sync with your heart-space”. Achievement unlocked. Well at least level one of that achievement. I’m at a place where I feel that even if I don’t have it figured out, I know I have the tools to figure it out on the mental end. Again, that’s for a level one kind of mental status. Basically, I’m no longer dead leaves shaking in a tree with potential to be blown into a pile. My plant metaphor these days may read something more like “seedling in a crack in the sidewalk”. I have a chance, but much fortitude and luck are needed.


Little shoes to fill.

Physically, I’ve been up and down for years, and lately I’ve been hearing a reminder that good mental health is not fully attainable without attention to physical health. The brain is a physical thing it turns out. There are at least 7 people who have been regular voices in my life that have been an inspiration to get up and move lately. Some have been there for years and I haven’t been ready. Patience prevails. I’m ready.

I’ve been walking more. Eating less. Sleeping more. Stressing less. Giving more. Taking less.

Yesterday, after exhausting myself working on the great American grill/patio cleanup that happens to many of us during the first weekend of Spring; I put on my shoes and ran out of my driveway. It wasn’t bad. I’m not good at it, or trying to be for that matter. I’m just trying not to die any sooner than I have to. Today I downloaded a Map My Fitness app along with C25K. I am not trying to run a 5k. I am not setting fitness goals. These apps are for timing and routing for me. The best way for me to fail at something is to set a big giant goal. My anxiety doesn’t work with big giant goals which is odd considering I’m a macro thinker. Balance or something.

Why share? Well I thought I wouldn’t. I’m not looking for encouragement, attention, or drive. I just thought this would be a good thing to share. Maybe it’s a primer for things to come that are often results of these walks/runs. I also thought maybe sharing could be some encouragement for you to take a walk or to listen closely. Maybe you’re like me and are often discouraged by people’s well-meaning words to get active. I heard them for years and always thought “I’m not ready”. Sometimes it takes a while.

Wait for the moment, watch for the moment, listen for the moment, then be in the moment.



mom said wait for the moment
gone home went to bed
while the other kids, they’re still outside

I don’t feel time when I sleep
so I snuggle up with my sheet
and wait for a brighter day

I’ll play football tomorrow
with only my best friends
people I like, but I don’t love are not allowed

I wonder if Sharon will see me
but I’ll play cool
cause cool is what you have to do

it’s hard to make a point
when you’re living so loud
turn it down

trying to get my friend excited
about not being invited
I say that’s an opportunity

butt dialed I smiled
listen dialed I smile
It was so nice to get a call

Sharon, I’m good at stuff
and you’re into stuff
let’s make products

I’m a product guy
you’re a produce girl
I said money will be spent

I’m attuned to the grooves
that turn you off
bassman, breakdown . . . [repeat final four verses]


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